


Gone

by bitcheesquared



Series: Gone [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Damon grows a pair., F/M, Heavy Angst, Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 14:42:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitcheesquared/pseuds/bitcheesquared
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damon finally faces some truth's. One Shot</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

Damon is in his room having just poured himself a drink, when everything that he's been avoiding, finally hit's.

One minute he's standing there glass of bourbon halfway to his mouth; the next thing he knows, the glass and its contents are making a brief and somewhat messy acquaintance with the wall above his bed.  
Fuck! 

Elena has been a vampire for three days and he's seen her for all of thirty seconds when she'd first woken up.

What the fucking hell was he still doing in Mystic freaking Falls?

He'd told Stefan that he'd leave and yet here he was, still hanging around in the vain hope that she might need him in some way. When the hell did he turn into a woman anyway.  
She'd told him all but flat out that it was Stefan she wanted, even knowing that the chances of her seeing Damon alive again, were slim to none.  
For Fuck's sake! She'd said she had to let him go. What sort of sadistic bitch did that to someone they cared about. 

What was it gonna take for him to buy a freaking clue?

As far as she knew he'd been as good as dead. What, would it have killed her to throw him a bone.  
If she'd just said that she didn't know, or even left it at; It's not just Stefan I'm going back for...he would have been content with that. But no. He got the whole; I never un-fell for him speech And then the 'maybe, if I'd met you first' shit. 

Then again, he thought bitterly, why should I have expected any differently. 

This after all was the same girl that had Stefan break his freaking neck at Klaus's ball. And that was all because he didn't want her endangering herself by meeting Esther alone. And then if her, 'your loving me is a problem' crack, wasn't clear enough, she goes and asks good old Stefan to the decade dance. 

And gee, didn't that first decision turn out so well, he thought sarcastically. First she colludes with that witch bitch mother of Klaus's, (And okay, admittedly she didn't know that she'd be signing everyone's death warrant.) who if she'd managed to pull off her spell, would have ensured that every vampire in the world would have ended up as dead as the proverbial dodo.  
I mean... Really, hadn't the girl learned by now. Look what happened when she'd trusted Elijah the first time.  
Then after taking such a stupid leap of faith, what does she go and do... she has a belated attack of conscience and blabs the whole plan to Elijah anyway. The end result; one newly vamped witch, courtesy of moi.  
And do I even get a "I'm sorry Damon, I should have listened to you in the first place." Not fucking likely.

He snorted.

What the hell did I expect. She never fucking listens to me, not unless it suits her.  
And he could probably count those occasions, on two fingers. 

And Bonnie's mother... She had to know, I heard Stefan tell her about the coin toss, but I bet it's still me she blamed. I'm sure if it had been Stefan it would have been all, you had no choice and it was all my fault.

This, from a woman who had her tongue down my throat only days later.

Pfft... Who was he kidding. She'd only kissed him because Stefan had told her it was okay. That she needed to sort out what she felt for me. All because Saint Stefan was worried she had Feelings for his older and better looking brother.  
God. For someone who was so unlike Katherine, she'd sure as hell managed to meander in the same general direction. 

So okay, he got that he was the bad guy, that he was willing to do things to keep her safe; things that Stefan and the others balked at. So why the fuck string him along? Hadn't he'd proved to her enough times that all he wanted for her was her happiness and that if Stefan was what made her happy, then he was fine with that. 

And yeah sure, at one stage he'd tried to change her mind. But by the time Klaus came to town he'd made his peace with Elena and Stefan's epic special love.  
Surely If he as a vampire could ignore the attraction between them, why the fuck couldn't she? Why wouldn't she just let him go, why drag it out and put him through the emotional bullshit?  
For fucks sake, she'd been jealous of Rebecca on more than one occasion. And that kiss in Denver no matter the motivation, had been all her to start with.  
He'd been happily puttering along playing the bad guy to Stefan's white knight, resigned to the whole, it was only a matter of time until they got back together thing. Why couldn't she have left him alone.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd done anything in this town that wasn't all about Elena Gilbert. And quite frankly after her speech the other night and her total avoidance of him since she'd turned, he'd finally had enough.  
It was past time to get the hell out of Mystic Fall's. Stefan and Elena were welcome to each other, because this little black duck had officially reached his quota.

Damon Salvatore was outta here.

Striding towards his closet he yanked the doors open and rummaged around for his carryall. He'd get Stefan to send the important stuff later, but for now he was gonna travel light.  
Fifteen minutes later, Damon had everything he needed packed in a small bag and was ready to leave.

For the first time in he couldn't remember when, he felt a sense of excitement and expectation settle within him. He was finally leaving the town his brother and Elena behind and he felt more than fucking good about it.  
He could travel see the things he'd always been to pissy to enjoy; while lost in his angry Katherine years. Who knows maybe somewhere out there he'd find a girl that would choose him, and only him. 

At least he could say one thing good had come from loving Elena Gilbert. He'd managed to find his humanity again; he'd learned to care. Okay' so he wasn't gonna rush out and buy a puppy, or volunteer for charity work any time soon. Still... he was finally free to care for whoever he wanted, without hating himself for doing it. And that alone very nearly made everything else worth it.

He was in the process of taking one more look around his room in case he'd missed something essential, when there was a knock on his door.

He sighed heavily and glanced upwards with a glare. You have got to be fucking with me, he thought. Five more freaking minutes and he would have been in the clear. Jesus! Someone up there must really hate his guts.

Throwing open the door, he smirked.

"Why good afternoon Miss Gilbert. What pray tell, brings you to my door this fine day." he drawled.  
Elena smiled hesitantly; then tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she reached for his hand.

Damon stepped back and gestured for to enter; neatly avoiding her touch at the same time.

Well here we go, he thought. This is what I get for thinking about the deep stuff. She probably felt the disturbance in the force. He sniggered internally.  
Oh well. At least now he'd get some decent closure.

Elena had stopped just inside the doorway and when he'd turned from shutting the door, he found her frozen and staring at his bed.

"Y-you're going somewhere?"she stammered uncertainly. 

"Hmm... looks that way." he quipped lightly.

Interesting. It seemed baby bro hadn't mentioned their little deal. 

"So, what's up Elena? Got places to go and people to eat you know." He grinned his best siliceous grin, wishing she'd just get to the point so he could leave and get on with his life.

"Umm... how long are you going to be out of town? I mean, I can wait until you get back to talk... if you're in a hurry." she offered uneasily.

Just for a moment Damon considered not telling her. He could just spin her a story and disappear. She'd probably be relieved.  
But then he'd never been one to dodge the truth, or to slink away like a dog with its tail between its legs. Never let it be said that Damon Salvatore had run from a girl, he'd let her have her say, get his closure and then ride off in to the sunset like every good anti hero should.

"No, it's fine, I have time. I was going to get Stefan to tell you what with you being all avoidy of late, but I guess now you're here it's probably better you hear it from me anyway ." 

She blinked up at him and frowned. 

"I wasn't avoiding you Damon. I've been trying to learn how to control my emotions before coming to see you. I was pretty pissed when my memories came back." She shot him her best disapproving look before continuing. "And I needed to sort out some stuff between Stefan and I before seeing you." she admitted. "Anyway, you said you had something to tell me." she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, it's nice to know you and little bro have patched things up." he said, with another smirk. "Makes what I have to say easier at least." 

Her brow furrowed with confusion but before she could comment, Damon continued. 

"I'm leaving Elena. Gonna go catch up with a couple of old friends in New Orleans first, then probably on to Europe." he offered offhandedly. 

"Oh." she said frowning again. "Okay then. I suppose you really need a break from here after everything. How long are you going to be gone, are you driving down or flying?" she queried looking disappointed. 

Damon did a mental spit take. Okay, what the hell? She really wasn't that thick, surely. And what was up with the whole sad, I'm gonna miss you look.

"Riiight. Uh Elena, I think you might be misunderstanding me here. I'm not going on vacation. I'm leaving... as in for good. I was gonna leave a list of things with Stefan so he could ship them when I get settled, but I'm sure you can pass it along for me. We've never been too good at the whole goodbye thing anyway." he added.

"I'll drop you guys a postcard or two when I get time. You know," he joked "one of those ones that say wish you were here, but I put a Not at the end of it. It'll be funny, you can watch Stefan roll his eyes disapprovingly, that's always good for a giggle."  
It was right about then that Damon finally registered the look on her face.  
Jesus, were those tears? And what the fuck was up with the lip thing? It looked like... Oh hell no, she better not... oh fuck, she was. She was fucking crying. 

"Hey Gilbert, C'mon, if it upsets you that much I promise I'll play nice and send you actual newsy postcards. We can be like pen pals or something." he offered trying to lighten the mood. 

Well shit. I should have just got the fuck out of here when she gave me that out. Now I'll have to listen to her getting all guilty about making me leave because she and Stefan finally got back together. Like that's a real shocker.

"Oh God" Elena choked out.  
"I don't believe this is happening." she gasped "You're really going aren't you? You're going to leave me".

"Ah.. I'm a bit confused here Elena. Why the hell would you care if I leave. You just got back together with my brother. I thought you'd be relieved if anything. 

He rolled his eyes as he continued to speak.

I know Stefan probably expected me to hang around but we did agree that when you eventually made your choice, the other would go. And now that I'm no longer a complete bastard who lives to torment him It's only fair that I live up to the agreement. Besides, I figured you guys would be glad to have the alone time." 

"No Damon, you don't understand." she grated angrily "I'm not back together with Stefan. In fact I've just spent nearly two day trying to get my head on straight as well as convincing your brother that we don't have a future." Her voice started to rise with her obvious distress.

"God! Could this get any worse." She ran her hands through her hair, clearly discomforted by my sudden distance. 

And that's when she looks me straight in the eye and tells me that she's in love with me; that she's broken up with my brother because she's finally realized that I'm the one she wants.

I gaped. My actual jaw became unhinged and then... I just lost it.

I told her in no uncertain terms that she was most definitely a day late and a dollar short. That I didn't give a flying fuck if she thought she was in love with me, because her feelings were no longer my concern.

I may have even called her a bitch. In truth, the first few minutes of my rant is still a little blurry. I was that angry.

How dare this girl; this child. Do what she had done to me and then expect me to turn around and kneel at her feet in supplication... because she'd changed her mind.  
I'd fucking loved her; through every rejection, every slight, for well over a year and all I'd ever gotten from her was a single kiss and a questionable admittance that she had feelings for me... that she cared. No fucking way!  
Here I was quite literally, on the verge of leaving and finally moving on from a girl that had told me she hated me more times than she'd ever said she cared and she had the gall to... I didn't have the words.

So I looked her straight in the eye and told her the truth. 

"I am leaving town Elena. And I don't plan on coming back until you're either as dead to me as Katherine is, or you're just plain dead. Admittedly I'd prefer the former, because believe it or not I do love my brother and I don't much relish the thought of having to avoid him, not until he gets you out of his system. But I will do it if I have to." 

Taking a deep breath, I tamped down my anger and frustration. I wanted her to understand that I wasn't doing this to punish her, or to get back at her; I was quite simply doing it for myself. I needed to live for me for a while. It had been Katherine and then Elena for so long that I'd forgotten what it was like to have a life that wasn't defined by others. 

"Elena I love you. And I'm grateful that knowing you made me realize how important Stefan is to me, but I won't be your guard dog anymore. I'm done with this town and I'm done with you." I smiled grimly. The shock on her face as I continued my cathartic speech failing to cause even a twinge of the usual guilt.

"I would have given you the world Elena Gilbert. I was willing to choose you over my own brother, but you used me and manipulated me one too many time's. Three nights ago you told me you had to let me go, so don't come crying to me now for taking you at your word. I'm moving on, so should you." 

And with that I reached for my bag and turned towards the door.

I heard her sob behind me and felt her hand clutch at my arm.

"Please Damon, don't go. I need you." she cried. 

And as I turned; gently removing her hand, I very deliberately met her gaze. 

"I love you Damon." she sobbed out, her eyes flooding with fresh tears. 

I smirked. Unable to resist, I gave her both an answer and a direct quote from one of my most favorite movies.

"Well frankly my dear... I don't give a damn."

Then I turned and walked away, feeling lighter than I had in over a hundred and forty six years.


End file.
